there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize