Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
