I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
