Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
