One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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