Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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