i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
