i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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