what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
