Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize