Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
