So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
