I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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