why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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