how can u be prego again
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
