You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize