so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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