South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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