i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
