i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
