Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just google imaged poop.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
