why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
