So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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