This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
