I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
