We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
