another moral hangover. fuck.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
