it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
