I skipped work to stalk him.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
In America we eat man semen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
