well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
