Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
