i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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