Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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