Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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