dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
