There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
