is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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