I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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