She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
