Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
50% drunk capacity currently
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
