you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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