yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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