I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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