No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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