you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
