Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
