her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize