Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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