i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
