I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
