Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize