Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
