how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
