Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
