I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
