i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The air taste purple.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
