Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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