bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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