the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
