The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Actions speak louder than pants.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
