what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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