he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
