hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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