she looked like the before picture.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This toilet bowl is my home.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
