yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
