brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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