i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
