Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
