Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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