i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
