Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
