What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
