I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this will be a night to untag.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
