im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
